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Subject: A Guide to Social Newsgroups and Mailing Lists
This article was archived around: Tue, 28 Dec 1999 09:00:18 GMT
Last-change: 20 March, 1996 by firstname.lastname@example.org (Dave Taylor)
A Brief Guide to Social Newsgroups and Mailing Lists
The Usenet distributed conferencing system is a terrific way to meet
new friends and engage in many interesting topics of conversation, but
people just joining our on-line community often have a difficult time
figuring out which group is which and what groups they could join to
find like-minded individuals.
To try to help this situation, this article is intended to be one of
a group of regularly posted articles that are given to new users to
aid you in deciding where you might have the best luck finding new
electronic friends that share your interests both socially and sexually.
Disclaimer: some of what is said on Usenet might be offensive to you as
some of the groups discuss topics that are, well, a bit unusual.
Fortunately it's easy to avoid this problem; don't read that group. Also
please keep in mind that the more controversial the subject, the more
likely the group is awash in inane, unrelated discussion, partially
due to the nature of the Usenet community and partially perhaps due to
how uncomfortable most people are with these subjects.
To reiterate this point, please do NOT join a group to find a forum for
arguing or demonstrating righteous indignation over a particular belief,
behavior, or desire. Those discussions are almost always completely
inappropriate and the more controversial the subject, the more likely
the participants in a group are going to dislike judgemental postings.
Also, there is a good chance that you have misunderstood either the
offending article or the responses of other readers. In other words,
you may well be alone in your indignation.
Finally, as with all groups on the Usenet, once you find one that
seems of interest, please try to spend a week or two just reading
the group and learning how conversations proceed in that particular
forum before you jump in. It'll save you, and others, a lot of grief
This hierarchy is devoted to ads from people who seek e-mail or
in-person romantic or sexual relationships. There are several
subgroups and many people who post here do so using one of the anonymous
posting/reply services. Try to include a descriptive subject line
(including your location), and some specific information about your
tastes, interests and hobbies.
One of the nicest things about any relationship, be it the beginning of
a courtship or years into a more serious commitment, are the little
things that you do for each other, the romance. If you're interested
in chatting with people about what is considered romantic, talking about
a particular romantic thing that you've done, or even just reading
stories about what other folks have done to 'be romantic' or 'have a
romantic liaison', then this is the group.
What's a relationship without sex? For that matter, how many of us
would be around without our parents having had sex? This group is one of
the most controversial on the net, not surprisingly, and while the
actual number of articles that discuss sex or sexuality is distressingly
low, the group is still an interesting place to find the occasional
horror story of a sexual rendezvous gone bad, to read debates about
what type of birth control (or condom) is best, or even to read some
surprisingly revealing details about the sex lives of people on the net.
While bestiality refers to engaging in sexual activity with an animal,
the articles in this group seem to talk about everything but that.
Discussion group for intergenerational relationships, including
"May/December relationships" (relationships between
adults in two different parts of their lives, 20 and 45 years old for
example), as well as discussion on "ephebophilia" (relationships between
adults and teenagers) and "pedophilia" or "paedophilia" (relationships
between teenagers or adults and pre-pubescent children). The level of
mature discussion (discourse) on alt.sex.intergen tends to be rather
high, and those that read and/or participate in the discussions would
like to keep it that way :-)
The best spin-off discussion from alt.sex, this group has a higher level
of interesting articles, which talk about bondage and related topics,
ranging from the psychology of being confined by another during sexual
play to the mechanics of different bondage devices. It also occasionally
delves into sadism and masochism, so as with any other group, if you don't
like what you're reading, be prepared to unsubscribe.
A moderated group with long, but infrequent articles, rec.arts.erotica
is the main focus for erotica and pornography, depending on your
standards. Most are explicit, and some demonstrate a surprising writing
ability, but many also seem rather sleazy and variously demeaning. Just
like reading the Letters to Penthouse, it's a mixed bag as to whether any
of it will be exciting or erotic to you.
Being in a short or long term relationship offers much in the way of
joy, pleasure, and emotional satisfaction, but it also offers the
chance for major arguments and other problems. This group is where
you can talk about a relationship you're in with others that are also
in relationships of their own.
Soc.feminism is a moderated newsgroup for the discussion of feminist
issues. Both men and women are encouraged to post to it and discussion
is not limited to the pro-feminist viewpoint.
This group differs from soc.women in that moderation keeps out the
flames and inappropriate cross-posts. In addition, there are several
subjects appropriate for soc.women but not soc.feminism (e.g. the
sporadic "where do I find comfortable shoes?" discussion that turns up
in soc.women or discussions of women's health, other than policy issues
related to it).
This group discusses similar issues to soc.women, but from the
male perspective. Topics include equal rights, child support,
custody of children, relationships and so on. In addition, there
are often topics which tend to be specific to men including shaving
in the shower, post-workout skin care, and similar. Both men and women
are active participants in this group.
While the Usenet community is pretty open minded, many of the
aforementioned social groups tend to be populated primarily by
the heterosexual community. Soc.motss (Members of the Same Sex) is
a forum where the concerns and lifestyles of lesbians, gays, and
bisexuals may be discussed, including conversation about relationships,
dating, travel, and the like. Discussion of the validity or
appropriateness of homosexuality is inappropriate, however, and will
not be appreciated.
Is your mailbox empty? Look here to find other people who want to
exchange e-mail. There are also ads from people who want to find
snail-mail penpals, too.
Of all the things that people seem to have in common, perhaps the most
common thread of all is the bouts of being single, and the hunting and
searching for relationships that this implies. This group is a forum
for all discussions even vaguely related to either being single or the
quest for a relationship. Indeed, it has been likened to an electronic
cocktail party, where people have known each other (electronically,
usually) for years. There are also a number of people in relationships
that share their thoughts, as well as a high level of aggression between
some of the contributors.
Like many of the soc.* groups, soc.singles is not an appropriate place to
post penpal requests or personal ads: try soc.penpals or alt.personals.*
Soc.women is an unmoderated group that discusses similar issues to
soc.men, but from the female perspective. Topics include equal rights,
child support, custody of children, relationships and so on. In addition,
there are often topics that tend to be specific to women including shaving
legs, finding comfortable shoes, and so on. Both men and women are active
participants in this group.
OTHER PLACES TO LOOK
In addition to these Usenet groups, there are many other forums on
Usenet where you can make new friends and share conversations about
topics of interest to yourself. Among them are the many "soc.culture"
groups for specific ethnic/geographic cultures, the "soc.religion" and
"talk.religion" groups for those interested in meeting friends of a
specific religious background, the "rec.*" groups oriented about a
specific recreational activity and many more.
Also, there are a number of different private mailing lists for specific
sexual and social orientations, including:
Contact: email@example.com (Henry Mensch)
Purpose: Mail.bears is a mailing list in digest format for gay
and bisexual men who are bears themselves and for those who enjoy
the company of bears. The exact definition of a "bear" seems to
be a personal one, but it encompasses men who are variously cuddly,
furry, perhaps stocky, or bearded. Mail.bears is designed to be a
forum to bring together folks with similar interests for conversation,
friendship and sharing of experiences. The tone of mail.bears
will be determined by its members, but people uncomfortable with
discussing sexually explicit topics via electronic mail should
Contact: cd-request@TheRev.LosAlamos.NM.US (Sharon M. Laws)
Purpose: To provide support/discuss/share experiences about gender
related issues; Crossdressing, Transvestism, Transsexualism, etc.
This list is in Digest Format.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org (Patricia Collins)
Purpose: The feminist mailing list is intended to provide a forum
for discussion of issues of interest to women, in a friendly
atmosphere. The basic tenets of feminism and the day-to-day
experiences of women do not have to be explained or defended. Men
and women can join, but everyone requesting to be added to the
mailing list MUST provide the moderator with: 1) a full name; 2) a
complete uucp path to a well-known host or a fully specified
Internet address; 3) the correspondent's gender (for records and
statistics only). NO exceptions.
email@example.com (Marcel Franck Simon)
Purpose: This digested mailing list discusses "men's issues."
Both women and men may join. Mail-men is a place where men and
women can discuss men's issues in an atmosphere of openness and
support. Men's issues are those problems and experiences that
affect male humans.
Purpose: A forum and support group for gay and bisexual women.
The list is not moderated, but may become so if the volume and/or
content begins to warrant it. A digest version is available; if
you want it, be sure to mention it in your addition request. Men
who want to "listen in," for whatever reason, are requested to use
the feminist and alternates mailing lists instead; sappho
membership is limited to women.
Purpose: The SPANKING E-MAIL LIST is for the exchange of
stories, articles, letters, rememberances and comments on and
about erotic spanking. The list is mailed out once a week.
In addition, there is a personals section at the end of the
mailing for those who wish to post. Posting is not required,
but is strongly encouraged to keep the list going. Membership
list is private.
Please use this list of Usenet groups and mailing lists as one of the many
signposts to help you find the groups that you'll be interested in. One
other terrific place to find more information is by asking your friends on
the net what groups they read too!
Changes, corrections, additions, or other requests for information
related to this posting should be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org