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Subject: [FAQ] alt.mcdonalds.crew
This article was archived around: Mon, 10 Apr 2000 14:30:21 -0500
Here is one of the two official FAQs for alt.mcdonalds.crew and The
Empire of New Scotland, this FAQ should be referenced along with The
Imperial Constitution. The second official FAQ is here:
http://www.lart.com/amcfaq.html . All other FAQ's or charters
pertaining to this newsgroup and/or Empire are NOT approved by His
This FAQ is divided into three parts: alt.mcdonalds.crew, The Empire
of New Scotland, The Enemies, and The Emperor's personal bio.
If you would like to contribute to this FAQ email me at
This FAQ will take affect about five minutes before I post it.
alt.mcdonalds.crew FAQ section.
1. What is alt.mcdonalds.crew?
Alt.mcdonalds.crew is a newsgroup for the discussion of things
pertaining to McDonald's. This includes: employees, things employees
do, enemies those employees made, Empires those employees rule, and
anything those employees would like to see in alt.mcdonalds.crew.
Currently alt.mcdonalds.crew is a Crown dependency of The Empire of New
Scotland, His Imperial Majesty, Emperor JB has full authority over
alt.mcdonalds.crew, and it's citizens.
2. What is on-topic in AMC?
The same as it is every day; guns, abortion, religion,
war, politics, sex. Sometimes we discuss McDonald's, but
only after we've limbered up.
3. My ISP does not have alt.mcdonalds.crew, how do I get it?
Don't, you do not need alt.mcdonalds.crew in order to live.
It is a waste of newsserver space, just like the Jiffy Club.
4. Is alt.mcdonalds.crew a flame group?
Not exactly. While The Empire of New Scotland has trade agreements
with alt.romath, alt.fan.karl-malden.nose(AKA The Empire of Meow),
alt.alien.vampires.flonk.flonk.flonk, and alt.flame, alt.mcdonalds.crew
is not a true flame group, other than for flaming McDonald's. You can
however, flame anyone or anything in alt.mcdonalds.crew, The Emperor
likes the entertainment.
5. What is your opinion on people who eat at McDonald's?
If they are the dumbshits who eat at McDonald's everyday, then all I
have to say is: GET A FUCKING LIFE DUMBSHITS. Surely you dorks don't
NEED to eat a McDonald's every day. I mean, come on, you people could
spend less time at home making you own food instead of coming to
McDonald's and wasting your time. Also you could save more money by
making your own food at home. I wish I had time to waste like you
people appearently do.
6. Some people in AMC mentioned McJeffy the other day and
I didn't get the joke. Who is McJeffy and why should I care?
McJeffy was the originator of AMC and is a Former Vice President of The
Empire of New Scotland. He was the Progator until he killed that
num=10> . He has apperently disappered as of late, obviously planning
Coup of The Empire.
7. Is it acceptable to crosspost from AMC?
Yes, it is absolutely encourged. Crosspost to as many groups as you
8. Do I have to be a McDonald's employee to post to AMC?
At this time, no.
9. Is anything off-topic in AMC?
Anything that praises McDonald's.
10. How long should I lurk in AMC before I post?
Long enough to join in the hatred of McDonald's.
11. Can I post in HTML?
NO!!! Get a *real* newsreader instead of that MicroCrap.
12. What is an Imperial McWhore?
There are three forms of Imperial McWhores:
Grand Imperial McWhore
Honorary Grand Imperial McWhore
The requirements for Grand Imperial McWhores and Imperial McWhores are
1. They can be either Female or Male (so that The Romathian Ladies
Anarchist Club and Terrorist Society can play with them).
2. Evil (however this can be exempted)
4. Is someone everyone hates.
5. Is someone everyone does not want in the group.
6. Has potential to work at McDonalds.
There are two Main positions: Imperial McWhore and Grand Imperial
McWhore. An Imperial McWhore is just a McWhore and must listen to
their superiors (which is everyone else). A Grand Imperial McWhore is
a leader of a group of McWhores. ALL McWhores must listen to a Grand
Imperial McWhore. A Grand Imperial McWhore has a right to receive
"services" from the McWhores under his/her command.
Also, there is the position of Honorary Grand Imperial McWhore,
however, they are NOT entitled to the Rank and privilages that befit a
Grand Imperial McWhore. In fact their Rank in the Chain of Command is
below that of an Imperial McWhore.
Here is a list of Imperial McWhores:
Grand Imperial McWhores:
Elaine "Romath" Matthews
Tim "Three Fucking Weeks" Thorne
Honorary Grand Imperial McWhores:
Richard S. Bullis
The Empire of New Scotland FAQ section.
1. Who is this Emperor person?
I am The Emperor. I rule The Empire of New Scotland.
2. How should I refer to The Emperor?
Two ways, Either: His Imperial Majesty, Emperor JB. Or: The Royalty.
3. How should I refer to Officials of The Imperial Government?
The President should be addressed as: His Imperial Excellancy,
President <name>; Vice President: His Imperial Excellancy, Vice
4. What about these Dukes I read about?
Dukes should be addessed as: His Grace, Duke <name> of The Province of
<name>. If female: Her Grace, Duchess <name> of The Province of
5. What about Members of Parliment?
Members of the House of Commons should be addressed as: Dr. <name>,
M.P. Members of the Senate are technically Lords, as such they should
be addressed as: Lord <name> of <province they represent>. If female:
Lady <name> of <province they represent>. However, if Parliment is not
in session, you do not have to address them as such. Unless they say
6. Can I have a position in The Imperial Government?
Maybe, read The Imperial Constitution, then ask me, I'll think about it.
7. What Provinces are a part of The Empire?
These are the Provinces of The Empire: New Lothian (AKA Formerly Nova
Scotia), Washington (AKA Formerly Washington State), Hawaii (AKA
Formerly The State of Hawaii), and FluffyLand (AKA Formerly New
8. When will you post those maps?
When I decided to install LinuxPPC I needed to use the partition that
contained them for Linux's use. I copied everything that partition had
on it (including the maps) over to a CD-RW disc. Unfortunetly
something weird occurred which makes it impossible to retrive the maps,
even though I can still add stuff to that disc. In other words: never.
The Enemies FAQ section
1. What is alt.romath and why should I care?
Alt.romath is a bogus vanity group created by Romath.
2. Who is Romath?
A fool. She believes to be Romulan, and Romulans are evil.
3. Does alt.romath have a charter?
NO!!! Alt.romath has no charter. The posters in alt.config has
confirmed this. Live with it.
4. Who is PissMaster:
Joshua Kramer's nickname for Postmaster@CDLC. We don't like Postmaster
because he is evil, well, everyone is evil. But Postmaster is really
5. What is the Jiffy Club?
The Jiffy Club is a nickname that I gave to alt.clubs.just-for-fun. It
is a group of dumbshits who think it is ok to post in HTML to Usenet
and to post binaries to non-binary groups.
6. How did the Jiffy Club get it's nickname?
I gave the Jiffy Club it's nickname. Amazingly, the name was accepted
by the other flamers of the Jiffy Club.
7. Is the militia really the National Guard?
Here are the enemies:
Enemies of The Empire:
The Emperor hereby declares the following individuals enemies of The
Empire of New Scotland and of the denizens of alt.mcdonalds.crew:
The Jiffy Club
The McDonald Bros.
Bert & Ernie
T. C. Romath
Rabbi Ernst Zundel
If seen these people should be reported to The Imperial Guard for
arrest and sentencing to The Imperial Salt Mines.
The Emperor's personal bio FAQ section.
1. Is it true that you work at McDonald's?
I no longer work at the evil place known as McDonald's.
2. Do you have a girlfriend?
Not yet, I am currently working on that situation. If I am gone for a
significant amount of time, that means I found one, and I have
better things to do than visit here, ie, I'm spending more time with
her than I would care to spend here.
3. What type of girls do you like?
Irrevalent question since I am currently looking for one, but I'll
still answer it. Blonde, my height or shorter, nice personality,
pretty(Duh), easy to get along with, and one requirement that I *must*
fullfill, not her, I must NOT be shy around her (don't ask, don't even
fucking ask.), which appears not to be working to well.
4. Why did you add the above question?
Because I can, It's not like anyone will read this.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for your interest in alt.mcdonalds.crew, and My Empire. I am
confident that with your help, WE WILL RULE THE EARTH!! ONE EMPIRE,
WITH ONE EMPEROR!!!
His Imperial Majesty
Emperor JB of the Empire of New Scotland.
Imperial Web site: http://www.geocities.com/emperorjb/
The true teachings of Jesus: http://www.libchrist.com
``Personally, I would like to see more porn on the Internet''
- Pres. Clinton 2/14/00
alt.romath Gentleman's Club # 13
The Romathian Ladies Anarchist Club and Terrorist Society
ALL HAIL THE EMPEROR, FOR HIS GREATNESS IS HUGE!
Erin Go Bragh
One day, one shall rise from the ranks and bring a great Empire to the Earth.
"Crazy......... But it feels alright"
"Bill Gates is a white Persian cat and a monocle away from being a villain
in a James Bond movie."
- Dennis Miller
"Nobody cares... everybody is really good at pretending to care, but at their
very core, the selfish child reigns supreme."
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds, along with
the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest... is silence."
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